Sweet Summer Solstice Solitude

(Original photo)

The longest day of the year always seems significant to me. So does the shortest. I am drawn to these unbalanced days as opposed to the Equinox which are actually quite balanced in the respect of daylight hours but that isn’t what attracts me...I don’t think. It is hot and bright on this day in the desert southwest mountains so you might have to squint to keep up with me here. I am talking about energy. The energy exchanged by longer days than nights allowing the growing things to grow while kids on summer vacation splash about in pools of delicious water. In winter the long nights take back what those long days gave us. These exchanges of energy pass by as seasons. Today, I am celebrating the beginning of this season, realizing that I am in a season of huge physical demands, that I am not so used to, by giving myself a cool rest under the air conditioning...yay summer!!

Recently I was in a different season of energy exchange. I had a lovely friend and now very dear friend come visit me twice in the last 6 weeks. We had some amazing discussions, deep insights and transforming experiences together. To say nothing of the live music and dancing we got to experience...that should be another blog post I suppose. 

All the wonderful things we both learned are still jelling in each of us but what I can tell you here is that I found someone like me. Not just like me, that would be silly. No, she is like me in that she and I can feel other people’s energy. I am an empath. She is too. Empath is just one word for someone who is sensitive to the feelings/energies of others. So much so that they can easily lose sense of themselves if they don’t develop good boundaries. I’ve been this way my whole life but didn’t have words for it all until recently so we definitely had food for fodder.

 I can also tell you that as an empath, having another empath for a houseguest is super easy. They know exactly what the other feels/needs, etc. So that part was way cool. And, we both saw this, it was absolutely amazing but also exhausting to have such in tune empath to empath discussions, usually over wine, every evening!! We were both having deep personal stuff going on in our periphery so there was that. All of the processing we did and the insights, we had to keep diving into, to get better clarity about, were deep truths for both of us. Did I say it was amazing? Because it was and we will have lots more opportunities for more of the same. I haven’t know very many people that experience people the way I do. But there are a few in my life and I thank you all for being there.

(Original photo)

Do you ever get told “I love your energy” or “thanks for bringing your energy to the party” or “you’ve got such good energy”? This energy can be a blessing and a curse. It is such a blessing to share this energy with others, especially those you love and care about but also to light up that room at the party. Some people have this really good energy and it is kind of like the summer solstice and having very long days...everything and everyone grows around this energy. People LOVE it and they are really blessed by it. I know I am when I am around people with this energy. 

But people with this type of innate energy usually don’t realize how often they share it. They also aren’t aware that because they can feel energy they can also feel lack, or energy vacuums which they try to fill. They usually just give and give and will often deplete their own energy to their detriment. If they have done it all their lives, like me, it gets real unhealthy and patterns are built that even when the light has been turned on, those hardwired patterns are difficult to break. This is the curse of which I speak. If you have read my blog before you may have noticed talk of chronic pain. That is an example of unhealthy depletion of energy. The sun’s energy burns out and we long for the winter season where we can go within and recharge our batteries.

 

(Original photo)
There is a balance though. Sort of like that boring equinox although it isn’t boring at all. It’s balanced energy and empaths more than anyone need to have balanced energy in order to not be depleted constantly. What I have found, besides lots of rest and periods of blissful solitude is to feel and detect my own energy levels as often as possible and only give what feels good to give and when it doesn’t, protect my energy at all costs. No one else is going to do this for me. I realize there are bunches and bunches of people that don’t need to be told this. They already know how to detect and monitor their own energy levels intuitively. I admire you. I am not one of those people. Not intuitively anyway but I am learning to reprogram my old patterns. I am learning that if I say yes to you when I really want to say no I am really saying no to my needs and that depletes my energy. If I am in a good mood and you are not and I swoop in to try and make you feel good even though you didn’t ask me to...I deplete my energy.  The only solution I have come to and I got there with the help of my dear empath friend and a course I took by Lee Harris, is to take care of my own energy needs, share when I can and hold back and recharge when I need to AND, if I do this, I will maintain my precious balance, my equinox, and help to balance those around me by not taking care of their energy for them.

(Obviously not my photo)
It isn’t that I don’t want to shine like the Solstice sun shining today because I do and I thrive on shining my light. I am making a vow to myself to take better care of myself and that means taking care of my energy so that I don’t crave winter’s restorative properties so much of the time.  I am doing that today by saying no to an invitation to spend the Solstice with other like minded folks in ceremony that I used to really enjoy. Today I am spending in solitude and I am recharging my energy. I am in a season of physical pursuits to make a little money. Energy traded in the form of hard work for a little cashola. It helps out the neighbors and it helps me. Good exchange. I am also building my first ever fire pit so that I can drum and sing around my own fire this summer (after the rains start of course!).  I am enjoying my life and all that I am learning.

(Original photo of unfinished fire pit)
I will close by wishing you a lovely Sweet Summer Solstice whether you spend it in solitude or not.
Enjoy your summer, take care of yourselves and if you resonate with the empath thing...take real good care of your own energy! It could save your life. 

The View

I found this special place near where I live that I can easily walk to overlooking the vast ocean of mountains and plains that I am viewing from a chair I stashed that snuggles neatly into the circling branch of a beautiful dead stag. The walk isn’t really that far and I can easily carry my glass of wine and a blanket to throw over the chair. It is paradise. The setting sun changing the colors every 15 minutes. The birds chirping loudly as I settle in, one by one, quiet for the night. Crickets are about though. It is summer and they are the sound of summer evenings. The wind blowing through the juniper and pines is the most grandest of sounds that stops even the cricket in their little noisy steps. I am amazed that there aren’t any other sounds but these. I saw one car but just one. Not that you can really see a car from this viewpoint but I saw the headlights down there on the plain. Peaceful contentment abounds here. I can see it in the bark of the tree as the sun sets it magical light in just the right spot that it captures the attention of even the most wandering mind. 

Silver linings. Changing colors and points of view. Changing attitudes bring new places to sit and ponder and wonder if life gets any better than this moment. If it does, I’m in. If this is it...I’m good. I am so very good.