Four more

4 more days. I am retiring from a 31 year Nursing career. There are many feelings in this. I had a great career. I mean, it wasn’t all that glamorous but I seemed to get to do what I wanted in terms of the different fields of Nursing. I set out with 3 goals, I wanted to help others, I wanted to provide a living for my children and myself and I wanted access to healthcare. Little did I know how much of that healthcare I would have to access. None the less, it was a fantastic opportunity to get all those things...and more. Yes, I got some bruises along the way. My back will never be the same but I got a lot of rewards that I couldn't have imagined by connecting with the patients that I cared for and by interacting with other caregivers just like me.  Caregivers helping others for a living. We are likely the caregivers of our personal relationships too. We give and give and give. Sometimes we learn to ask what we need as well. 

You may know that I live next door to my 85 year old parents. They are the most remarkable and awesome set of individuals I could ever ask to be born to. I didn’t always know this nor believe it but I do now and that is really all that matters. I am going to get the awesome opportunity to give care to them soon. It will start with something easy and maybe it will get more difficult...maybe it won’t. I am here and here for the duration. 

I recently went away on a trip to a tropical island. One last trip as an employed citizen. It was gorgeous and magical and wonderfully cloudy. Life is like that sometimes...gorgeous and magical and wonderfully cloudy. 

You may also know that I am fairly newly divorced after a 27 year relationship. It has been just over 18 months since the last of the crumble or the beginning of the beginning. I think I had a breakthrough this weekend. I think that maybe someday, maybe someday I will feel worthy of a relationship that thrives because I am in it and not only for the relationship but for me too. When I feel that worthiness, then it will happen. And until then, damn I am loving my life just the way it is right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!