A kayak lesson

I could kayak here.

I am taking a kayak lesson tomorrow evening. Here in the desert. Not at the sea...but maybe someday I will. Kayak in the sea that is.

I am feeling the winds of change. I am feeling things I have never before felt in my life. Strange is change. 

I am becoming a vegetarian. I have never really liked meat. Well, maybe bacon...some. I am giving it up though. Except when it smells really good and I just can't go without at least a bite. As my sister says about her vegetarianism/sometimes veganism...it isn't a religion. 

I also started coloring. My friend and neighbor down the road gave me two adult coloring books and a 60 pack of colored pens. Glorious! Who knew?? I LOVE this activity where I can just BE with color and making design and getting completely lost in the moment and the pure joy of coloring. 

It kind of makes it hard to get anything else done but...but...is there anything else to do really? Okay, maybe I should eat...a little.

I have done much reflection this winter. I have gone within and found myself there. That can be a scary place if you aren't wearing your seat belt. I read Anne Lamott yesterday. She says that Grace is when you ask for Help...but warns you to wear your seat belt after asking...no one told me that so I have been feeling kind of catapulted. I think I am just kind of rocking at the moment. You know like when your 3 year old grandson doesn't want you to leave to go the 800 miles back home and he rocks you while you are hugging him goodbye? Yeah, like that.

I am spending time alone. I am so grateful for the opportunity to do this. I am finding out that I am an okay person by myself. I think I thought I would be lonely by myself. I don't think I gave my Self enough credit. My Self kinda likes being alone so she can know what she hears in her heart is her thoughts, her wants, her needs. That is all that is asked of at this time. Oh. That isn't too much to ask. No. That sounds like the kind of thing that might actually be expected in this life. Oh. I didn't realize. Be still then and listen. Nice...hear that music? I like that station on Pandora. 

So, these are some of my thoughts on a Monday evening in the mountain desert of New Mexico. It is supposed to rain tonight and tomorrow. Do you know how very exciting that is to desert dwellers? Mucho!

I am taking a kayak lesson tomorrow evening. Here in the desert. Not at the sea...but maybe someday I will. Kayak in the sea that is.